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home : opinion : opinion August 28, 2014

3/29/2013 5:44:00 PM
A world where kids and rabbits work together
Eric LaFontaine

In case you hadn't heard, Easter Bunny XXII has rescheduled a recent stop in eastern Oregon and will be hosting a free Easter egg hunt in Othello this Saturday, March 30. Using his extensive network of community activists and generous local businesses - the hare apparent to the late Easter Bunny II franchise - expects this year's hunt to rank in the top two greatest Othello Easter egg hunts of all time.
The genealogy of the Easter bunny is hard to pinpoint, but records gnawed in ancient petrified carrots indicate that Easter "Lucky" Bunny was the first to be recognized as hiding the extra eggs that accumulated during the fasting of Lent in the mid-1680s. At the turn of the century, with spring in the air and white being so 1690s, families began boiling their extra eggs with colorful flowers, producing springtime colors that were then hidden by the aging Mr. Bunny. Unfortunately, in his early 16s, E. Bunny lost his foot saving a young child caught in a tree trying to retrieve a hidden egg - never fully recovering and vowing to pass on the tradition to his offspring.
Rule No. 1 became "never hide eggs that require super strong hind legs to reach."
As generations have passed, the Bunny family has turned their patriarch's hard work into a multi-billion dollar industry that will descend on Othello the day before Easter, hiding 1,500 eggs across the play fields at Hiawatha Elementary. E. Bunny XXII will sound the shotgun start at 11 a.m., setting in motion controlled chaos.
The plastic eggs are filled with candy donated by Leprekon and Walmart and more than $1,000 in Bunny Munny - an Easter currency accepted at our local McDonalds, Reichert's Showhouse, KixStand, The Factory and Pik-A-Pop. Burger King has also stuffed several hundred free soft serve cones cards into the eggs, in addition to goodie bags donated by the Columbia Basin Health Association for finding a golden ticket.
Rumors are swirling that local restaurateur Ronald McDonald and CBHA's Healthcare Howie will make a guest appearance and Mr. Bunny's new CFO, Br'er Rabbit - recently off the unemployment line for his role in a trick-and-grab gone wrong - has confirmed portable restrooms donated by BS Pumpers and a bouncy house by C&M Rentals.
In the early 1920s, E. Bunny XV re-focused the family's charitable work toward the eradication of cancer after learning thousands of his distant cousins were developing the disease testing Brylcreem in labs. Carrying on his tradition, photos with Easter Bunny XXII will be $5 each, with the proceeds benefiting this year's Heart of the Basin Relay for Life.
And as a co-sponsor, the Othello Chamber of Commerce covered Mr. Bunny's fee for reserving the school play field and donated a few dollars to cover any overhead costs. Ace Hardware also donated yard paint to keep hunters separated by age.
The only question remaining is how did all those eggs get stuffed? According to Mr. Rabbit, the local Leo Club donated several hours of their time proving that young people and adult rabbits can work together.


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